I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
