Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
