matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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