Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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