What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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