The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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