You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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