piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
