It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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