Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
