i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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