I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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