I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
