I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize