Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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