i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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