I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
