Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
