like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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