we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
