Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
