I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
