He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
