i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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