THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
