Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
