I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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