what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
