What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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