chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
