That's intense
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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