Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
