You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize