You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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