Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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