i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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