Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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