the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
