just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
