She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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