He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
