The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
