I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
