I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
