So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
