This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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