Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We need to get me chipped asap
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
