Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
