this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
