i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
