my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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