thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
