No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize