She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
