Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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