He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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