his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
