you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
