We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
