I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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