you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
