just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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