if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
