she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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