I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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