I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
