I just cut my nipple shaving
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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