I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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