if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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