Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
